Oh, the Memories
by Xxle-grellxX
Summary: Who was she? That's a question the girl herself couldn't answer. After all it's difficult to talk about yourself when you only know your first name, birthday, age, and the fact that you're a titan right? Who, or what did this to her? And why? How does still seem to somehow know people who have been erased from her mind? Will she ever remember, or is she better off oblivious?
1. Who the hell am I?

_**Heeeeeyyyyyyy guyyyyssssssssssssssss**_

_**How are you all?**_

**_You all been treat or tricking, getting diabeetus and shit?_ _I know I have._**

**_So this is yet another story of mine because I can't update my own for some damn reason (I'm oh so lazy)_**

**_Right so I have to do the greeting to any and all newcomers who don't bother to read these authors notes anyways_**

**_WELCOME CHILDREN TO THE WORLD OF XXLE-GRELLXX_**

**_HERE THINGS ARE A LITTLE DIFFERENT THAN THE OUTSIDE WORLD_**

**_IT'S CRAZY_**

**_IT'S SCARY_**

**_IT'S LEMONY_**

**_AND IT'S GOT THOSE FUCKING TWISTS LIKE ATTACK ON FUCKING TITAN MY FUCKING GOD WHAT THE FUCK!?_**

**_Anywhore...that should be enough warning for you because god knows I stopped doing that shit a long time ago._**

**_I_**

**_don't_**

**_have_**

**_warnings_**

**_Kay?_**

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Attack on Titan in any way, I only own my OC characters_**

**_OH AND I MAY HAVE FORGOTTEN TO MENTION I DO HAVE SOME GOOD OL SPOILERS WHHEEEWWWWW_**

**_Fun Fact: The word bae is the Danish word for poop_**

**_ALRIGHT LET'S CONTINUE WITH MY NEWEST TRAIN WRECK!_**

* * *

><p>'<em>Where the hell am I?!<em> _What the hell is going on?!'_ I thought to myself as I looked around, a knife clutched so tightly in my sweaty palms that my knuckles were turning white. I had no idea where I was, or really even who I was.

I knew my name, my age, and my birthday, it was Mika, 19, March 3rd, but that was it.

I started wandering around, quietly, cautiously, as if something would pop out at any moment and attack me. If someone was in the same area as me I'd be shocked if they couldn't hear my heart beating.

I came to a door, and after a moment of debating I decided to push it open and sighed when I saw a picture of myself, empty gin bottles, a cracked mirror, and a bed in the corner. _'This must be my house…' _I thought with a small smile as I picked up the portrait of me, smiling.

The picture was obviously old; I was at most 4 when it was taken.

What the hell was my life was like…? I wish I knew. Why can't I remember my own past?! I picked up an empty bottle and threw it at the wall, not caring about the loud sound or the glass pieces flying everywhere.

I pinched the bridge of my nose and sat down on the bed, frowning. I need to calm down if I want to find out anything, anger isn't going to solve jack squat. I glanced over at the nightstand, praying that I was the kind of person who'd keep a diary.

Alas after 20 minutes of tearing apart my room I discovered that I did not in fact, have a fucking diary. Or if I did, someone had stolen it. Which made no sense to me, why on earth would someone want to steal something like that?!

And that's when I heard it. Voices, outside, lots of them. _'Oh shit…' _I thought, my eyes bulging out of my sockets in fear. _'I need to hide,'_ was a thought that repeated in my mind over and over. I looked around frantically and finally settled for the closet, which smelled of dust and…alcohol.

Either I live with someone who has a drinking problem, or I have a drinking problem.

I sat down and quietly as I possibly could, shut the door, leaving me with my knife for my only protection. The voices were closer now; in fact I could almost make them out. But that wasn't really a good thing.

I could make out one or two phrases but they didn't really make sense. Something about a murderer hiding out in this house or something…? That just wasn't right; surely I'd remember if I killed people right?

'_What if they think that I'm a murderer?! What if they execute me, or, or they…'_I started to panic and began hyperventilating. _'Calm down, calm down…"_ I tried to take even breaths, in an attempt to not lose my mind.

"Someone hiding out here? Damn place looks deserted…" I had been so focused on trying to stay quiet (and trying not to have a panic attack) that I hadn't notice they had entered the house. "Looks like it's been uninhabited since the Wall fell, you really think someone's hiding out here?" a different voice piped in, not too far away.

"What would even need someone like that for? Why can't we just leave them out here to die, I mean don't they deserve death?"

"Tch. Shut up brats." The man's tone was cold, and actually rather rude. **You're trapped in a closet like an animal and all you can think about is how polite or impolite someone is being? Really? Maybe you deserve to be accused of murder and executed.** That was a little harsh don't you think? **No not really.**

I heard footsteps nearby, and carefully peeking out of the closet so hopefully whoever it was wouldn't see my eye or anything, looked around. This was not a very good idea, because my emerald eyes were met with a pair of steely blue orbs. I immediately squeaked and jumped back, internally cursing myself for being such an idiot.

So much for not getting caught.

With a loud "creeeeaakkk…" he slowly opened the closet door and flooded the tiny space with light. The knife was shaking wildly in my hands and for a moment I feared I might actually drop it. My heart was a drum in my ears. I was terrified.

He stared down at me for a second with a harsh glare before reacting. In one swift movement he had pulled me up and had my hands pinned behind my back in an iron grip. "Found her!" he called causing me to cringe. I wanted to speak, to tell him there was a mistake, but I just couldn't… My hands started to move frantically though and after a second I realized what I was doing. Sign language. **So you remember what sign language is and how to do it, yet you can't remember your own life?**

A group of people ran into the room, the one that stuck out the most being a tall man with blonde hair (That seemed more like a toupee than anything) and oddly large eyebrows… **Fuck him and fuck his eyebrows.**

He shook his head though-thankfully- before clearing his throat to speak. "This isn't our target. Of course she might know who we are looking for…"

I immediately shook my head rapidly, trying to get them to understand I didn't have any clue what the hell they were even talking about. But, none of them believed me-I don't blame them- and started marching me outside.

I was starting to panic again, and my body began acting on its own. I didn't really understand what I was doing either, my body seemed to be acting on instinct as I threw my head back onto the older male's while kicking him in the knee. He didn't exactly crumple to the ground, but he did let me go and without the slightest thought I began running in the opposite direction.

Again, this was not a very good idea.

Why, you may ask?

Well you see, just as I didn't hesitate to run, they didn't spare a moment to think as they chased after me. And see they had this whole little formation going on, and uh yeah long story short don't head-butt people unless you're aware it might come back to bite you in the ass. Of course by that I mean that you need to be prepared for a giant group of people to surround you.

'_Crap, crap, I'm screwed, shit, shit, shit!'_ I thought bringing my hands up over my head in an "I surrender," motion. I sort of wish I hadn't have done this either. I didn't even comprehend what I was doing when I brought my left hand down to my mouth and bit off an area just below the thumb.

Suddenly everyone surrounding me looked like ants and I was 20 meters tall…wait a second, was I...a titan?

* * *

><p><strong><em>Eren: Titans?<em>**

**_Eren: Titans?!_**

**_Eren: TitANS?!_**

**_Eren: TITANS?!_**

**_Jesus fucking Christ burning in Hell EREN CALM DOWWWWNNNNN_**

**_~Newsies *gets shot~_**

**_WDIESFOTW: I swear I'm working on it ok I swear on my mothers life and my ikki con ticket_**

**_Things aren't what they seem: By next week~And oh have I been having fun with this story~_**

**_Past's Forgotten, Future's Rewritten(Collab): I'm writing the new chappy so it should be up fairly soon_**

**_Why Does This Always Happen To Me?: IT IS FORTHCOMING_**

**_Hope: New chapter up by Tuesday_**

**_AND A FUCK TON OF NEW FANFICTIONS SOON *cackles madly*_**

**_~The Aftermath on crack (the goods) with the Attack on Titan characters (even the bitch brigade), Xxle-grellxX, and many others for disgusting candy and food from McRonalds served by Lord Satan~_**

**_Author-chan: I finally made a tumblr and uh...it scares the living shit out of me_**

**_Hope: Like teenagers?_**

**_Author-chan, Hope, Blue*Star, Marissa, Luna, Melody, Violet, Iris, and Rose: THEY SAID NOW TEENAGERS SCARE THE LIVIN SHIT OUTTA ME, THEY COULD CARE LESS AS LONG AS SOMEONE'LL BLEED_**

**_Mika: So uhhh why am I like this?_**

**_Levi: Who fucking knows Cadet_**

**_Connie: I'm an idiot in this story because Author-chan hates me more than she hates Jean for some reason_**

**_Author-chan: I don't hate Jean, but if I were to come across him while I was driving I might accidently purposely run him over and make half jokes_**

**_Gamzee: MoThErFuCkInG mIrAcLeS_**

**_Violet: Fuck no _**

**_Luna: I heard that Gamzee and Eridan were_ half _brothers_**

**_Every fangirl: *kill mode activated*_**

**_Mika: This whole fandom is going to hell isn't it_**

**_Eren: Yeah...but have you even seen the Japanese one?_**

**_Mika: Do I want to?_**

**_Jean: No_**

**_Marco: There were things...I could see things..._**

**_Marco: THE YAOI AND THE YURI AND THE PLEASE DEAR GOD NOT THE JOKES JUST LET ME BE DEAD WHY DID YOU REVIVE ME FOR THIS AUTHOR-CHAN?! MY MIND!_**

**_Author-chan: I heard Erwin once fucked a man using only his eyebrows_**

**_Hange: I heard the man was Levi_**

**_Mika: Is it true?_**

**_Levi: Tch of course not_**

**_Erwin: Well..._**

**_Eren: WHEN I WAS A YOUNG BOY_**

**_Mika: Eren please_**

**_Eren: MY FATHER TOOK mE-_**

**_Luna: Is he Tavros now?_**

**_Eren: INTO TJE FOREST TO INJECT MY ARM WITH_**

**_Beyond Birthday: DRUGS_**

**_Batman: I'M BATMAN_**

**_Eren: WITH stUFF HE SAID SON WHEN YOU GROW UP YOU WILL BE THE SAVIOR OF THE PEOPLE, AND ALL OF HUMANITY_**

**_Reiner: Uhh..._**

**_Annie: Yeah...sure..._**

**_Bertholdt: *sweating intensifies*_**

**_Author-chan: The other day I asked my dad if he was proud of his daughter who cosplayed on a regular basis and was the very definition of a fangirl. He uh...couldn't answer_**

**_Jean: Hey Eren how's your mom doing?_**

**_Marissa: Hey Jean how's Marco doing?_**

**_Zane: Hey Marissa how's your sister doing?_**

**_Author-chan: fuck Zane doesn't have any fuCKING WEAKNESSES GODDAAAMMMNNNN_**

**_Raven: And this is the woman who um...my question is who let her have a computer_**

**_King Satan: Not me...I just work at McRonalds _**

**_Melody: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH CIEL PHANTOMHIVE ISSS AA GOOD OL FAAAAGG~ *sings obnoxiously*_**

**_Sebastian: *stabs*_**

**_Izaya:..._**

**_Sebastian: What?_**

**_Izaya: You stabbed my girl_**

**_Shizuo: IZAYA!_**

**_Fun Fact: In The Simpsons episode Treehouse of Horror XXV, several other incarnations from other animated franchises of the family are shown, each one with a respective theme. In the anime theme, each of the family members was depicted as a specific anime character with Lisa portraying Mikasa, with her traditional hairstyle and military outfit and using the Three Dimensional Maneuver Gear._**


	2. What the hell is going on?

_**Hey guys I'm back**_

_**Levi: Unfortunately...**_

_**Sorry I would've updated sooner but...you see other fanfictions an-**_

_**Melody: YOU HAVEN'T UPDATED ANYTHING THIS WEEK**_

_**I WAS PREWRITING SHUT THE HELL UP YOU INSUFFERABLE CUNT**_

_**Anyways...writing, roleplay, **_**projects, _a social life (I somehow have one), and this beautiful thing called Five Nights at Freddy's Two kept me occupied_**

**_I apologize_**

**_Somewhat anyways_**

**_If you haven't noticed already I'm kind of an asshole, but you guys never read these anyways so hail Satan I like trains CATTSSS_**

**_BITCHES LOVE CANNONS_**

**_Anyways I've realized this story really shouldn't be rated T so the rating will very likely change when I get off my ass long enough to do that_**

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin and merely use the characters for my own entertainment and you can't stop me motherfuckers_**

**_*cackles madly*_**

**_Fun Fact: In Episode 2 of the anime, a young Annie is seen receiving food rations. This is an anime-only cameo_**

**_On with the story and I apologize ahead of time if this is complete shit_**

* * *

><p>'<em>I'm a titan. How is that even possible?!'<em> I thought, internally panicking. Part of my brain told me to run, but I was frozen in place. What do I do?

**RUN YOU MORON! I CAN'T MAKE THAT ANY CLEARER THAN IT ALREADY IS YOU IDIOT! RUN NOW!**

My feet started moving instinctively before I could process the jumbled thoughts swirling throughout my mind any further. The only thing I could really make sense of was the fact that I was a titan. Of course, there really wasn't much else to think about anyways…

I've noticed your mind tends to be just a tad empty without all those memories of your life floating around, you know?

I didn't dare look back; instead I just covered the nape of my neck with one hand. I knew they were following, but I wasn't sure if they were somehow going to attempt to capture me, or to just kill me here and now. I really hoped it wasn't the latter.

I felt a slight sting in my leg and looked down. _'3D gear of course.'_ I almost wanted to roll my eyes before I repeated the thought in my brain. Sure I hadn't forgotten how to speak or any of that really important stuff (except my life) but how the hell did I know what 3D gear was? **Maybe you just do, accept it. **

I'm a little ashamed to admit this, but I actually debated killing the man for a moment before my proper judgment kicked in. This was the person who had found me, and something told me this man was _very _capable. But if that was the case, then why would he make a move as stupid as this one?!

After a moment I realized two very logical reasons why he had made such a risky move in the first place. One- the terrain was flat without a single tree in sight-just a shack in the middle of nowhere. Two- he was my left leg, and my left hand was covering the nape of my neck. If I were to try and grab him he'd kill me before I even had a chance to blink, it'd be a death wish. And if I tried to grab him with my right hand I'd fall over like a moron. He is smart.

I was trapped; I couldn't do a damn thing until he made a move. I was quick, but he was quicker.

The short shit removed his gear from my leg a moment before the damn thing was buried in my shoulder and he was rolling (?) towards me, blades cutting into my flesh. _'One arm gone.'_ I thought calmly as my right arm lay limp, not moving upon command. _'Still one to go. Let's see you try to get me now shorty.'_ I thought with a sense of bitterness I hadn't felt before.

Something about this guy just pissed me off.

I hardened my left arm completely, as well as the nape of my neck. There's no way in hell I'm dying or getting captured today.

Well that's what I thought at the time anyways but…I was very, very wrong.

One moment everything was quiet, too quiet. I didn't care if all those soldiers were behind me except this little short ass-it was still too damn quiet for my liking. Of course, I made nothing of it until the vertically challenged man had just suddenly and inexplicably disappeared. I mean, sure I had found a nice canopy of trees so I should've expected it but still…

"FIRE!" the sudden screech was followed by some unpleasant-and rather painful if you ask me- gunfire. But no, I guess regular guns weren't good enough for them, or even cannons for that matter. Sure, I completely got why they had shot these, what were they called anyways, _things_ at me but I didn't exactly appreciate it.

I don't much like being stuck in situations where I can't move even though I'm completely aware of what's going on around me. I wonder if they've ever done this before, and if so, to who? _'Did it work? If I tried, would I be able to break these ropes and just run free with a few pesky things stuck in my skin? No, the real question here is would it even be worth it?'_

'_Should I just give up?'_ that thought hit me harder than any of those harpoons-yes that's what they were called!- had. My situation did look pretty grim at this point, was there even hope if I kept fighting? "Oi you." The voice was cold, and at first I didn't know where it was coming from before I actually took a second to think and realize the speaker was on my head.

Being a titan really can mess up your brain and your ability to be smart in general…that much I know for sure.

"Can you understand me right now?"

Of course I could understand him, what did he think I was some sort of brainless moron? And how the hell was I supposed to answer that question anyways? It sure didn't seem like a rhetorical one to me.

"Of course you can unless you're a complete fucking idiot and even though you're clearly stupid, you've at least got the ability to think."

Well this guy's an asshole. Just…I don't think I'll ever even think of getting along with this man. He's just such a douche.

"So can I ask you a question?"

Now, now he was being rhetorical.

"Would you mind if we cut off your arms and legs? You'd just grow them back like a lizard wouldn't you? Tch, disgusting."

"No sir, I don't think I'd be ok with you cutting off my arms and legs, I like them _on and attached _to my body where they belong thankyouverymuch." Of course I just said this inside of my head so no one heard it but me.

I did make an attempt to answer him this time though by shaking my head "no," as in I would not like for him to cut off my limbs. Honestly, I don't think any sane person would.

Maybe I should just give up, at this point death seems sort of enjoyable, besides don't they say life flashes before your eyes when you die? Then I'd get to know who I was before I passed on and I'd go out happy.

But would that even work? What if it didn't? Would death still be worth it, no is it worth it in the first place? And am I seriously debating ending my life so I might get the answers to some unanswered questions?

Yes I am. Even if there's only a one percent chance, I'm willing to take it just to learn my identity. And guessing by the shape of my supposed home I bet I wanted death to come knocking on my door anyways…

I managed to get my left arm free and picked up short stuff, moving the struggling, cursing man to a nearby branch before hardening my fist and digging it into my neck, grabbing myself and pulling my human body out. _'Of course death isn't worth it, I'll only use that escape if I really have to. And I'll only die on my own damn terms.'_ I thought to myself, but as a human.

I didn't know how or why I knew how to even get back to human form, but at this point I really couldn't care less. This fact remained in place when I pried my way out of the crystalized hand only to be met with awaiting soldiers. And nothing changed even when they chained my hands behind my back as a precaution not entirely trusting my "surrender."

Quite honestly I couldn't blame them. People always make irrational decisions when they're scared. It's just in our nature.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Welcome to the end credits that seem to take up half of the goddamn chapter<strong>_

_**I really should stop with this crack aftermath shit**_

_**LETS DO PREVIEWS INSTEAD**_

_**Marissa: OH JEGUS NOOO**_

_**Mika: I feel like this will somehow be worse...**_

_**I was lying, I'm far to lazy to do previews**_

_**I'd really love some reviews PLEASE YOU CAN TELL ME ALL MY ERRORS YOU CAN TELL ME THIS IS THE WORST THING YOU'VE EVER READ BUT I WANT REVIEWS**_

_**PLEASE AT LEAST LET ME KNOW I SUCCCKKK PLEEASSEE I BEG OF YOU**_

_**Mika: I really don't think she's ok...**_

_**REVIEWSSSS**_

_**PLEASE**_

_**EVEN ONE**_

_**JUST ONE**_

_**I WANT JUST JUAN REVIEW**_

_**AT LEAST JUAN PLEASE**_

_**Melody: Definitely not ok...**_

_**Fun Fact: Ymir spent 60 years as an ordinary Titan, and did not begin aging again until she regained her human form. This suggests that Ymir is one of the oldest characters in the series, most likely between 70 and 80 years of age.**_

_**And we thought Levi was a vampire...**_

_**Levi: I will fucking hit you**_


	3. What the hell's going to happen to me?

_**Hell-o my non-existent little fans**_

_**It's great to see none of you**_

_**So I've been thinking recently and I read What it means to feel which as we know is an Erei fanfiction FULL OF THE FUCKING FEELS GODDAAAMMNNN**_

_**Anywhore I realized every fanfiction has it's own fandom, so from now on I shall make fanfiction references in real life**_

_**So remember if you see a weird ass that suddenly makes one of these references well, you've found me...**_

_**Oh goddamnit...**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin, surely if I wrote manga it'd be about a girl being hunted down by angels because she was destined to be married to the anti-Christ, not giant naked people eating people**_

_**Fun Fact: August 1, Reiner's birthday, is celebrated as an unofficial fan holiday known as "Yaoi Day". This is due to Japanese wordplay, with 801 being short hand for the genre which focuses on homosexual themes.**_

_**God I always knew deep down Reiner was gay...**_

* * *

><p>I sighed, staring up at the ceiling. God this was agonizingly boring…Of course sitting in a jail cell with my hands chained up doesn't leave me with much to do. I could barely communicate with the guards, by now they knew I only spoke through my hands but didn't want to risk the possibility of me going rouge.<p>

"Oi brat." I turned my attention towards the man I had come to know as Levi, the same person who had almost tried to kill me. Well I think that was his goal but I'm not entirely sure. Today though it wasn't just him trying to get me to talk, there was an emerald eyed boy standing next to him. Through the dim light I noticed that his hair was sort of a coffee brown color.

My face held a questioning look, as if I was asking "Who's this?" which I essentially was. **Duh. **"Hi my name is Eren." He signed at me while talking. "Can you hear me?"

I nodded. "Great. Can you understand me?" again, I nodded. "Alright then, can you speak?" I froze for a second, giving him a blank stare. Could I speak, and if so, why hadn't I yet? I finally settled for a shrug showing I was as clueless as they were.

"Well that's just fanfuckingtastic I'm sure her trial will certainly work in our favor if the damn brat doesn't say a single word. They'll surely give us custody over yet another titan." The vertically challenged man grumbled to himself which elicited a growl from me. _'I'm trying my best here asshole!'_ I thought to myself angrily. "Heichou I think she's knows about as much as we do…" Eren spoke quietly with a sort of sympathetic tone.

"What if she doesn't have any memories?" he continued. In response to this I violently nodded. I so badly wanted to tell them how right that was but when I opened my mouth sound still refused to come out. If Levi saw my agreement to the statement he ignored it. "Where'd you get such an idea Jaeger?"

"Well I have a gap in my memories so I just thought maybe…" his voice began to trail off and he looked at the ground, refusing eye contact. I personally didn't get how he was scared of the shorter man-hell I was even shorter than grumpass and I didn't tremble at his supposed mightiness- but I'm sure there was a reason.

There's always a reason for everything. At least, that's how I see the world.

"The problem with that is she could use that claim and feign innocence then kill us all when we least expected it. You've got a brain Jaeger, why don't you use it for once?" his tone was cold and I frowned. "The kid was just trying to help you know, you didn't have to be such an asshole about it!" But I said this to myself so no one heard it but me.

"I'm sorry sir."

"Tch her trial is in a fucking hour and if we don't find some way to make her start talking she's as good as dead." He moved his face closer to the bars. "You want to die brat?" I shook my head. Of course I didn't want to die. "Then fucking talk, clearly you're not deaf so surely you've got a voice."

"Sir, what if she doesn't have vocal cords…? I remember there was a girl in my district who couldn't talk because she was missing them." Eren muttered without a trace of the confidence that he'd had earlier.

"Well that's wonderful. Surely they'd let her use sign language, completely unchained, not bound to anything."

I didn't know much at this point in time, but one thing I was completely sure of was that I did not like this guy. A small part of me just wanted to beat him to death…

'_Steering away from the homicidal thoughts…'_

The rest of the hour full of Eren coming up with theories and Levi shooting them done went by pretty quickly and before I knew it I was being marched up to a court room which would ultimately decide my fate-or so I'd been told. Looks like I've got to be on my best behavior.

I just looked at the ground, not bothering to glance at all the glares tossed my way. They all thought I was a monster and there's no point trying to change their minds with pleading eyes, that'd make me look even more guilty.

Finally the judge came in and my trial began. And once he started talking it dawned upon me that I had never given anyone my name. "You were found in a house just outside of Wall Rose is that correct?" I nodded after a moment of thought. Did no one tell him I had no clue who I was…? Did he think I knew where my house was, where I was, what was going on?

Because trust me, I didn't have a fucking clue.

"And upon being discovered you transformed into a titan and tried to flee, yes?" This was true, that I could honestly answer without hesitation so I did. Before the older man could ask any more questions another unwelcomed voice butted into the conversation.

"This is ridiculous! We've already done a trial like this with one of _her _kind! It was a mistake keeping the first one alive so why should we even bother with this one?! I say you just give her to the military police to dissect! We can learn far more that way!" I didn't even bother to turn my head in his direction; I just kept my eyes locked on the floor. I hadn't looked up once since the trial began and I had no intention of changing that.

"She's a citizen like the rest of us, she has the right to a fair trial!" a woman argued and my goal of not looking into the sea of faces left my mind. My jade-colored eyes held confusion when they locked with her ashy ones. Why was she defending me…? I didn't mind it, but I didn't get why she'd dare help someone who could be a monster.

"How do we even know she's one?! She was living out in the abandoned Wall Maria!"

"That wall hasn't been down long enough for her to have never lived within them!" she snapped back. "How do we know she didn't come in once it had fallen?"

"That's a death wish, why would she do something as stupid as that?"

"Because she's a titan posing as one of us! Titans don't have brains, they're idiotic mindless creatures! Look she isn't even defending herself; it's an admission of guilt!"

"You couldn't be more wrong." I muttered to myself, too angry to be amazed that I was speaking. "If I was guilty I wouldn't have kept those soldiers alive when I had the chance to kill them. You could argue and say I want to win your trust but if that were my goal, why would I have transformed in the first place?"

"Why should we trust you?! You haven't said a damn thing to anyone and now all of a sudden you talk!"

"Yeah? So what? Sometimes when you lose all your fucking memories you can be a little nervous and unwilling to talk around others. Imagine being chained up when you're completely clueless asshole, and to top it all off you're asked countless questions you don't have to answers to." I hissed. "And by the way I _did _try to communicate with you, did you never see my hands forming words? No of course you didn't you arrogant bastards!"

"Go ahead and kill me now! I see you've got the proper materials." I pointed my head in the direction of the guns being held by what I assumed was the military police. "Kill me for being clueless. Kill me because I was in a panic and made one damn mistake. _Do it,_ _I dare you_. Though I think you should at least know my name first so that later on when you regret ending my life the name is forever burnt into your mind. Mika. My name is Mika."

"Order! Order!" the judge interrupted, and as if by magic the courtroom fell silent once again. "Mika…"

"What?" my tone was harsh, but at this point I didn't care. I figured I was dead anyways so what was the point of trying to get on his good side now? "I've now heard two reports that you allegedly have no memories from your past, the first from the Survey Corps, and yourself. If that is the case how do you know your name?"

He had a point.

"I said I had no memories of my past, not that I didn't know my own name. You can't assume I've forgotten, really you can't just assume things. My mind is blank on most things but I'm sure that my first name is Mika, I'm 19, my birthday is March 3rd, and that I am in fact a titan shifter. Now maybe once upon a time at some point I was bad, but I have no way of knowing that and neither do any of you. If you kill me now then we'll never know the truth."

"Why should we believe anything you say monster?!" Another citizen yelled out and I whipped my head around and attempted to burn holes through his skull with my eyes.

"Why don't you put down the fork tub tub and listen the fuck up for once?!" Even I was shocked by everything I had been saying-but that didn't mean I was just going to shut up. It's too late to apologize now.

"Look I know it's a shocker but I know just about as much as you all do which is _nothing_. My mind is completely empty when I tried to think of the childhood I must've had. Are you really all so cruel that you'd extinguish my flame before I got back what I lost? Can't you give me a chance, I beg of you just one. Please have a little faith in me, don't just turn against me because of something I can't even properly control. I'm sure you've probably heard the same bullshit speech from whoever was before me but hey maybe we're both onto something then."

"Besides if I get my memories back I might be able to give you all very useful information, of course that's rather difficult to do when you're in the grave, wouldn't you agree?" I continued.

"Regardless of what you say I still believe the best course of action is to dispose of you as quickly as possible, you're only a threat to humanity." The same asshole from before spoke. "I've said t before and I'll say it again, it's only fair if the Military Police gets a shifter like the Survey Corps did. In my opinion they aren't even fit to be watching after one so why add onto that weight?"

I'm sure that in my life span I have never met such a tool…

"Order, Order!" the judge glared at him and I at that moment I realized this man actually cared about my health to some degree. I could tell this wasn't just another case for him. "We haven't even heard the Scouting Legion speak so how would you know if they're capable or not?" He looked over towards Levi and someone who appeared to be a polar opposite, that man with the huge eyebrows.

**FUCK HIM AND FUCK HIS EYEBROWS**

I'm so sorry; I don't know what just came over me…

"What is your proposal Scouting Legion?"

"Inside what we presume to be, Mika's house we found various journals that we may believe hold valuable information about the titans. Our reason for this being that the papers are coded and have what appears to be a titan's anatomy drawn on several pages. We believe that we can help in restoring her memories so she can de-code what she's written and further progress the war against the Titans, further ensuring the victory of Humanity." I swear the man didn't breathe once during that little fancy speech of his.

"I see. And what would happen if those journals were in fact, useless?"

"Then we'd see if she knew anything herself and if not, well we'd do as we're doing with our other shifter. We'd study her the same way we do with him and this may be even more helpful seeing as she seems far more experienced."

He just has a plan for everything doesn't he? I mean yeah I get that he's trying to save my life, but goddamn man how many backup plans did you make?

"Hmm…I see."

The talk went on for a little longer before finally the judge announced he needed to think this over, to think over my fate, who'd have custody over me.

When he came back I swear everyone in that room, probably even the whole town could hear my heart racing and I swear I had sweat at least a gallon. I was the very image of nervous.

"I've decided that Mika shall be in the custody of the-"

* * *

><p><em><strong>Oh I'm a douuuccchhheee baaaagg I knoooww~<strong>_

_**Surely she'll go to the Survey Corps, you say that noooowwww buuuttt ohhhhhh**_

_**I'm a dick**_

_**Mika: Yes she's a dick**_

_**You never know**_

_**For maybe I'll feel a little douchebaggy and just make Mika's life that much harder**_

_**hehehehe**_

_**Well I guess you'll see next time**_

_**Just remember I do go either way, don't believe I'd give Mika to the bitch brigade?**_

_**Sir, you might just be very stupid**_

_**Fun Fact: Whilst lifting the giant boulder in his Titan form to block the breach in Wall Rose, Eren bore a striking resemblance to the Ancient Greek Titan Atlas, who supported the celestial sphere on his shoulders**_

_**I hate reading Erens wiki because every time I do, well I get mad...see...just...read it...eh**_

_**See ya later Chicas~Adios!**_


	4. I'm finally settling into this hell-hole

_**Heeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy**_

_**Don't hit me**_

_**I'm sorry to all of you that actually enjoy this story, as well as any of my other ones.**_

_**I'm trying my best to get back on a steady updating schedule so this whole updating every two days for a week then not at all for a long ass time (like 3 weeks-or even 6-7 months) will be over soon**_

_**Wheewq**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin in any way, shape or form. All credit goes to the author who's name I'm too lazy to look up.**_

_**Fun Fact: The Colossal Titan was featured in a Subaru Commercial**_

_**FUCCCKKK YEEEAAAAHHH**_

* * *

><p>"I've decided that Mika shall be in the custody of the Survey Corps for two months. If she shows no signs of improvement her custody will be transferred to the Military Police." As soon as I heard those words, I sighed, feeling thankful that things went my way. I at least had a chance to keep living, even if it wasn't a big one.<p>

I really got lucky…

Though my sudden relief was shot down the moment all the angry protests hit my ears. People were _upset_-no-_they seemed downright pissed that I _**wouldn't** _die. _I guess this is how it feels to be a monster, who knew it'd leave such a painful empty feeling in your heart?

~SHINGEKI NO TIMESKIP~

A week after my trial I had finally settled into what was my new home, the Survey Corps, Scouting Legion, Recon Core-I don't know, they've got like a million names. Anyways I was getting used to my new style of life so I guess that was pretty good.

Everything was rather simple; I had to sleep in the cellars with Eren in case I turned into a titan in the middle of the night which was actually good for both of us. I had someone to talk to, and Eren seemed happier with a room-mate-I don't blame him, having to sleep all alone in the cold dark cellars for so long. Before I went to sleep, it was mandatory that I wrote a daily report as well as any memories that had returned to me and when I woke up I needed to write down what I remembered from my dream. Every Sunday I handed both my dream journal and my "memory," journal over to Corporal Levi. Overall things seemed to be going pretty well.

"Oi. Brat, wake up." I groaned and turned over, away from the source. There was one thing I hadn't adjusted to yet and that was waking up at 5:45 instead of 6:30 like all the other soldiers did. Of course this was only because no one was sure if I had been properly trained and we needed to test that out before any further actions were made…or something. I don't know, that's what I was told anyways.

"Now, I don't have all damn day to wait around for you to get your fucking ass out of this bed Cadet." Levi barked which caused me to restrain a growl. He just has to be so goddamn bossy, impatient, and rude doesn't he?

"I'm up, I'm up." I muttered with an obnoxious stretch and a nasty look sent in his direction. "Good. It's Maneuver Gear Day, and even if you know how to put on those damn belts it'll still take a long ass time."

Another thing, he cursed _way_ too much. I swear he had never heard of the term censoring before.

Oh joy, the belts. They were my _favorite_. Half an hour of self-pity and frustration I had managed to get dressed and surprisingly I got the belts on with ease, it was a goddamn miracle. **I'm so proud of you, look you're all grown up now in your big girl boots and everything. **Fuck. You. **Please don't.**

"So we're testing if I can use 3D gear without messing up and dying? What if I suck so bad I die right now…? I mean we don't know what'll happen so shouldn't we start with something a little…safer?" I questioned looking up at the blonde commander and the corporal. I just can't accept that I'm shorter than him and I'm not sure if I ever will.

"Don't worry; I'm sure you'll be fine." Erwin replied in an emotionless tone causing me to almost scoff. I wanted to trust this man, but hearing about how badly his judgment had screwed himself over in the past gave me second thoughts.

"Alright then…" my voice held a river of uncertainty, but if they noticed my nervousness they did nothing else to calm my nerves. Gee thanks guys.

"Are you going to start any time soon or are you just going to stand there like a fucking moron all day?"

"Fine, I'm going…geez…" I didn't bother to hide the annoyance-and slight hatred- I felt towards this man, and with that the evaluation began. I started off with ease, my fingers already seemed to know how the control everything and my body stayed in perfect balance-which was great…but it raised further questions.

I, of course was sort of in the middle of something that required my full attention so at the time I didn't think too much of it. I was just glad that I wasn't fucking up. For a while I just followed the given commands, like when and where to turn, stopping, you know basic stuff but after what felt like an hour they said they wanted to see my skills.

That…didn't make sense to me for a moment before the thought that maybe I was actually doing so good that I must've had previous experience popped into my mind. I knew the truth behind what these people were asking-they were trying to trigger a memory. Sure, that was really nice and all but the fact that if I stopped paying attention for a minute I'd either die or be badly injured sort of ruined the gesture.

Still, I did as the mix-matched commanders asked, starting to follow all the urges my body had been screaming at me to do earlier. I wish now, that I hadn't…

One moment I was fine, and the next I could recall, I was on the ground, everything seemingly fuzzy looking, and a horribly loud ringing was pounding through my head. "Shit…" I groaned in pain, rubbing my temples in a false hope of somehow soothing the pain.

The two sent me to Hanji-who I both liked and feared- to make sure I was ok, and thank god I was. Of course Hanji theorized this was because I was a titan and I healed so fast, but I didn't think so. I had definitely hit my head pretty hard, but something told me I didn't have a concussion. Besides I don't really think that whole regeneration thing worked well on bruises or anything of that type.

After all nothing was gone so why bother taking so much effort to heal it so fast?

Yet, she did still tell me to take it easy for the rest of the day so I wasn't complaining. I didn't have to train which was fine with me, today was combat day and I really didn't want to have to do that shit with the corporal. He'd probably whoop my ass without even trying…

This gave me a chance to do what I had quickly discovered I loved-writing. Just, something inside me had this burning passion to create stories, to let my heart out, to let my thoughts finally be heard by everyone. But, I didn't tell anyone about my hobbies, excluding drawing.

I couldn't really lie about that one since I had sort of doodled in my dream journal, "wasting," (as the Corporal put it) an entire two pages to make a cherry blossom tree. Even so, I swear I had seen a hint of appreciation in his eyes which was all that I needed to know he was actually impressed with me. **Would you like an award for your achievements?**

But, I think the best part is, I got the day to myself, all alone, without anyone nearby. That was bliss, finally being alone without people yelling "Monster!," at me, or others asking non-stop questions ot "help," me get better when all they did was make things worse…

And this peace I felt, made me extremely happy, I couldn't explain why though. I'm sure if I did, I wouldn't be able to explain it, so I didn't even bother trying, I just accepted the feeling without question.

I finally felt calm, something I felt I'd never experienced until that very moment.

* * *

><p><em><strong>I hope that wasn't too horrible...<strong>_

_**heh...**_

_**Please, review. I want to know if I'm doing a shitty job or not and I can't if you guys don't have your input...**_

_**PLEAAASEEE**_

_**I'LL GO TO JAPAN AND BUY YOU ALL ATTACK ON TITAN COLOGNE, DURARARA KIT-KATS, HETALIA SODA, DEATH NOTE UMBRELLAS, WHATEVER YOU WANT JUST REVVIEEEWW**_

_**Cats**_

_**Fun Fact: Jean mentions the 104th Trainees Squad made a game of using Bertolt's odd sleeping positions to predict the weather**_

_**Yay!**_

_**Adios Chicas~See ya soon!**_

_**...I hope**_


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